(note: this interview took place before Brock got fired and subsequently retook control of the website) The Tell-All Article Scandinavia's Been Waiting For
Silent T Editor-in-Chief Brock Armstrong is a very private individual, but on Jan. 8th, 2005 he sat down with Scott's 2nd wife, Mandy Moore, for a one on one interview. Of course, Mandy jumped at the chance. The interview took place on Brock's home turf, his one bedroom, one bath, town home. He opened up about his life before "Silent T", and finally spoke about why he's kept quiet for so long. He answered questions on love and his passions. At no point did he flirt Scott's my ex-wife. Enjoy.

Mandy:
Brock, the entire world is desperate to know more about you.
What can you tell us about yourself?

Brock:No comment.

Mandy: Brock, your bio-page first appeared on the Silent T website back
in 2004. Since then you've been an object of fascination for millions
of readers. Fans email you, send you letters, and buy from your line of
knitted hats. Yet these admirers know almost nothing about you. How do
you explain your popularity?

Brock: First of all Mandy, thank you for coming down here today. I
cherish your and Scott's friendship greatly, and that friendship has
gotten me through some tough times. I also want to say that my knitted
hats are all cotton. In regards to your question, I think 2004 was a
difficult year for many Americans. You had ashleesimpsongate, Rhea
Pearlman and Danny Devito broke up, the Statler Brothers meltdown... and
I think many folks were looking for someone to relate to. Suddenly, my
beautiful face pops up on the "Silent T" staff page. Folks only saw a
friendly smile, but didn't know much else about me, so many imagined
what I was like based on what they wanted me to be. To some I was the
middle-aged man in their apartment building with the hot buns, to some I
was a handsome fireman, and to others I was a washed up Scandinavian
country singer who had to resort to some ugly things just to survive.

Mandy: When in fact you're far from those things?

Brock: I didn't say that!


Mandy: In July of 2004, this sudden and unwanted fame got dangerously
invasive. The paparazzi published topless photos of you sunning on a
beach in New Jersey. How did you survive that ordeal?

(Mandy hands a copy of the photos to Brock)

Brock: (Looking over photos) It was very taxing. Running a legitimate
news organization and dealing with this filth at the same time. See, in
this one there's a shadow on my stomach, so it makes me look like I have
a pot belly. But you move on, I didn't ask for all this attention, but
now I have to deal with it.

Mandy: What do you do to unwind from all this newfound stress? I'm sure
the ladies would love to hear you talk about some bubble bath action.
(Laughs)

Brock: (laughs) I can't do bubble baths. My eyes always start stinging.
I avoid showers too. Mostly I stand at a sink and wash up with a wash
cloth... or a swiffer. I guess my favorite thing to do is cook, mostly
seafood. Something about the feel of putting my whole hand in a jar of
scallops... yeah... that calms me greatly. Searing Shrimp Kabobs...
prawn cheesecakes. That's a good day for me. Have you ever eaten a
Lobster blindfolded?

Mandy: No I haven't. Scott doesn't try new foods.

Brock: Oh, you haven't lived until you've enjoyed lobster with the other
four senses, leaving sight behind. Did you know that Lobster is related
to the shrimp?

Mandy: Soooo Brock, I have to ask. Do you have someone in your life?

Brock: That depends on what you're doing after this interview. (Bursts
out laughing, scratches nose and slaps his knee) Seriously, I totally
respect Scott and your relationship. No kidding. You guys are tight.
But back to your question... No comment. Except that, I too have dated Hillary Duff.

Mandy: So what do you look for in a woman?

Brock: What's on your resume? (Bursts out laughing, runs fingers through
his hair) Seriously, what you and Scott have is fantastic, I totally
dig that. I meant no offense at all. Good for you guys. I'll tell you
what I like. I like punctuality, a firm brow, teeth that aren't
mysterious. Someone who doesn't tolerate facial hair. For me a woman
must constantly challenge me to be better. There's something in knowing
that you don't have to go to a movie, go dancing, but you can just
snuggle up on the couch and talk and joke and that's an exciting
evening. Bam! Instant entertainment between the two of you and you
don't have to pay a cent for it.

Mandy: You're known as a real ladies man. Where do you like to do your
hunting?

Brock: Bus stops are great places to pick up women. You're stuck there
until the bus comes, so why not strike up a conversation. Plus you can
instantly impress them by telling them you have a car. Women at bus
stops really dig that. I used to go to Appleby's on Friday nights to
see what the tide brought in, but they've gotten a little pricey
recently. Now I check in at Ruby Tuesday's or Fuddruckers most
weekends.

Mandy:It's no secret that you and Scott have had your differences. You
credit him with your ruining your life and saving your life. What's
that all about?

Brock: Here's a guy who thinks he's brilliant for writing captions by all his vacation photos, calls it a website, and forces all his friends to look at it 4 times a year. What's not to like about that?

Mandy: Wha-?

Brock: Scott and I know that we're very different people, but somehow
our fates are forever tied together. He's constantly brought my life to
ruin, and then found a way to pull me back from the brink. We attended
several Junior Colleges together. As schoolmates he talked me -out- of
starting my own web company, and instead encouraged me to develop
genetically modified socks, which I later found out was impossible.
That's just one story.

Mandy: What else has transpired between you two?

Brock: We were also dating twins at one point. A great situation right?
Not quite. One night before a make-out session the three of them decided
to pull the old switch-er-roo, without telling me.

Mandy: He kissed your twin and you kissed his?

Brock: No, the twins kissed and I unknowingly kissed Scott. It was a
good 7 minutes before I realized I'd been duped.

Mandy: I would like to change the subject.

Brock: Go right ahead, darlin'.

Mandy: So if you hate Scott, why would you head up a website about him.

Brock: I've worked in the the grocery business for much of my life.
I've done everything from bagging groceries to ringing up the groceries,
to waste treament and the one thing I've learned is: If people know
enough about someone, they'll fall in love with them. And that was the
whole theory. I find Scott a despicable and disgusting person on many
levels, but he is fascinating. Much like a boiling pot of jellyfish.
And people will pay to read about him.

Mandy: You've made it big, why not retire on all your SilentT money?

Brock: I currently make 17-thousand dollars a year before taxes and
don't have a health plan.

Mandy: Changing the subject again... What can fans look forward to for
SilentT.

Brock: Well, of course later in the summer, we'll be rolling out the
2005 Friendship test with all new questions. Giving folks a chance to
earn Friendship scholarships, if they didn't last year. And the test
won't be a cake walk this time. I think lots of folks have been taking
Scott's friendship for granted lately, and there might be some grumpy
gershwin's out there once the grades are in.

Mandy: What else?

Brock: As the readers have already seen, we've got our Brock look-alike
contest, with a grand prize of a Brock 3 % Cotton T-shirt. Any woman
I'm dating at the time will probably be judging that contest. We've
also installed Spam Blockers so Nate Birdsong can't make Spam sandwiches
in the break room anymore. I am working on several innovations, one is
to stream live video from the SilentT restroom. Another is a system
that introduces lowercase numbers into the English language. We also
want to lend our talents to this year's "RIF-(Reading Is Fundamental)"
campaign. There's also a chat room in the works. It'll be different
because it'll be a multiple choice chat room. Folks get to pick from a
list of reasons they like Scott, and then check in on what other people
picked.

Mandy: Anything you want to add that we didn't cover?

Brock: I don't have a son and thank you for coming here today.

Mandy: My pleasure, Brock.
(end recording)

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