Past Headlines
Rumors of a divorce in Puerto Rico turn out to be false. A Spokesman for Scott says Mandy stayed in Puerto Rico to complete some last minute business. When asked why Mandy had changed her address the spokesman said he had to take a phone call and started talking into his thumb.
Daylight savings time arrives this month. Make sure to set your groundhog back one hour.
Mandy signs contract with a Durham television outlet. It's rumored to be a five-figure deal with a husband to be named later.
NERF wins military missle contract. They'll be developing warheads that can level a small city, but won't mar furniture.
Silent T Sports News: Phil Mickelson's success on the Pro Golf Tour appears to be opening up the game for white americans. Golf instructors report that more and more white children are taking an interest in the sport.
- Silent T scientists working to prove latest hypothesis. They contend babies poking adults in eyes isn't always an accident. White House sources say a tougher stance may be needed.
- Good News In Education: Knife to Student ratio in Durham Schools falls. 2004 figures show there were only two knives for every student in city schools. That's down from five per student in 2003. Experts say increase in guns sales is responsible.
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