HONCHO NUMERO RANCHERO!
(Publisher's note: Brock now owns Silent T and does whatever he wants)This is Brock Armstrong, sitting in our beautiful SILENT T Breaking News center. Brock was the first to come up with the idea for a website all about Scott. Turns out he knew exactly what America wanted. Brock oversees every aspect of SILENT T operations, from approving articles to kicking homeless people. In his free time, Brock is a real ladies man with a flare for seafood cooking. Most Friday nights you'll find him at local hotspots like Appleby's or the Barnes & Noble Coffee Shop. You can ask him about his love life, but he'll just respond with his now classic line "a gentleman knows when to keep quiet.. for legal reasons." Is it any wonder we love Brock?
THE BIG CHEESE
(Publisher's note: Scott disappeared near the end of 2006. He left everything behind, except his travel edition of "Hungry, Hungry Hippos." If he's still alive, he no longer has a job at Silent T)
Nobody works harder at SILENT T than the CEO himself.
He's known as Scott to his friends, but over the years he's picked up some affectionate nick-names. Scoop, Ole' Hammy Hands, Splotch, Snowman, Doug, Liarface, and teddy. Whatever you call him, he's the whole reason for our wonderful website and business that pulls in over four figures a year before taxes. This is a picture of young Scott, with his second wife, Willamina. Like a Sinatra, he only gets better with age. His hobbies include predicting
the color of the next car to go by, mispronouncing state capitals, and attending celebrity UNO tournaments in Vegas. He also helped found Sioux Falls, Iowa.
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT!:
Even though Raquel Clearwater literally kicked Brock out during his last firing, (kicked hard: see brock's blog for photo) Brock still named her General Manager of Silentt Inc upon his return. Some think Brock forgave her because she helped him clean up a mess. Something to do with burying some of Scott's "possessions" in a field in Burlington, NC. Now she rules the company with a tough but fair, and sometimes cruel style. Raquel actually selected this picture for her I-D photo. It shows her and her assistant, Pritchard Williams, in a dispute over the size of drink he ordered for her at Burger Hut. No one's ever been invited to Raquel's home.
ASSISTANT TO THE TRAVELING STOCK ROOM ATTENDANT:
We'd like you to meet Tedd Lexxus! He's was our General Manager, but for staying loyal to the long deceased Scott, Brock has banished Tedd. Tedd was hired to replace Brock Armstrong, so now that Brock is back, Tedd eats cartons of lipitor on lunch breaks. Tedd has one year(s) of experience in the web news industry. Teddd brings a lot of "in the field" knowledge to our Newsroom. He's covered Soft Ball
in several major markets and broke the story about New Bedford stealing the Windyjackets franchise from the town of Whalerhill.
When Brock's away or sleeping in his chamber of skittles, Tedd pretends to take the helm for Silent T. Tedd thinks Raquel is a bit rough on the staff.
Silentt fun fact: Tedd spends his lunch break out in his Pontiac Aztec,
sobbing.
Circulation Keeps The Moolah Flowing:
Silent T wouldn't have millions of loyal subscribers without this talented tandem. Nathan and Patricia Birdsong make sure every last subscriber is satisfied. Nathan and Patty met on the job, and although marriage is against company policy, we made an exception for this pair (after they hired a lawyer.) Also overlooked was putting their entire honeymoon on a company credit card. If you can reach anybody in customer service, chances are it'll be one of these two fine people.
Paparazzi:
Ever wonder where all those juicy photos of Scott come from. Wonder no more, Chad Snapton is the staff photographer. He follows Scott
& Co. around the globe. Many of his photos appear on the Silent T website and some have been used in court. This was the last picture taken of Chad, before he was horribly maimed.
More Staff!
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