European Front:
Silent T crosses all cultural barriers. So, about 3 years ago we opened a European Headquarters in Italy. Charlie Rogers has been our bureau chief from the start. In 3 years Charlie has yet to make a sale, but he has seen a lot of nice country. I'm still waiting for him to send me a t-shirt from Busch Gardens
Break Room Buddy:
When our publishing deadline looms once a year, the break room becomes the most popular room in the whole building. That's where Little Debbie Truck Driver Talbert Deswain comes in. He keeps the vending machines stocked and shined. Talbert brings chips and drinks aplenty, but his fine machines also offer frozen sausage bisquits and egg salad sandwiches. Talbert sometimes makes his deliveries in costume to get a laugh out of us. Come to think of it he always makes his deliveries in costume.
Ring Of Fire:
Scott was posing for the 2002 Silent T Swimsuit issue in Iwo Jima when we all met the industrious Nancy Pookashell. She owns a chain of Baked Sushi restaurants, but agreed to also manage our Pacific Rim Bureau. Nancy has not made a sale in two years, but has taught us much about her half Trenton, New Jersey/Half Hawaiian heritage. For instance, she taught us not to spit on dolphins and also gave Scott his island name "havaweaakbowell" which translates as "bravery". This photo was taken as Nancy searched the ocean floor for clients. Her expense reports are currently red-flagged.
Filthy Lucre:
You can bet Scott makes more money in a week than you do all year. With all that money, somebody's got to keep the books. Accountant and ex-felon Dirk Lyons got the job by proving himself as a reformed, hard working man and claiming that he's Brock Armstrong's illegitimate son. They avoid each other at the office. Classically trained at Devry Institute, Dirk continues to insist that keeping all the money in a big pile is better than keeping it in a bank.
Father & Son Tandem:This Father & Son team of Hahns & Dougie Yerbin do the work of two men at our home offices. Their current job description is labeled as non-specified, but you can bet they stand ready for anything. No one's quite clear on who's the father and who's the son, and no one's ever asked. They both appear in their fourties. Hahn's with his high cheek bones and his porcelain gray skin. Many co-workers ask Dougie to lead them to his "lucky charms", but no one will explain why.
Puffy G:
We can't forget our hard working Silent T mascot and logo Gardner or "Puffy G." He's a cartoon character that sums up the attitude here at Slizzle Tizzle, especially when we're feeling particularly like Snoop Dizzle and etc-izzle. "Puffy G" hasn't caught on big like we'd like him too. But we have just signed a deal to get his image and Silent T on the sides of all porta-johns used at Southeast construction sights. What great marketing!
System Override:
Turk Guerder is our Systems Analyst & Programmer. He oversees retail intergration and cohesion, and also information hotjumping with a specialty in linux latte. This picture is not blurry, it's how Turk Guerder appears at all times. The distortion is the result of Turk's living a few seconds into the future.
Lightening The Mood:
Cleaning Technician Rodney Grey works harder than a match on the Fourth of July, but when you need to lighten the mood he's also the man to call. Shown here mocking Scott's bad back by wearing Scott's own back brace, Rod can be counted on to keep the team's spirits high. (Editor's Note: Rodney was fired soon after this update went to print. Raquel was the manager chosen to break the news to him.)
STAFF FIESTA!:
No one from the staff could attend but a couple of neighbors showed up
for some free food. As you can see the Shasta was flowing again. The
big surprise came when the cake arrived. On the top was written "Scott
is Great." No one at the party knew who had ordered the cake. Scott
explained that his guests just wanted to show their appreciation with
the frosting message. But that seems unlikely, since no one at the
party knew Scott's name until they read it on the cake.
Company Activities:
